THE GREAT GRATITUDE ADVENTURE/DAY TWELVE/ THE REASON YOU CAN’T SAY NO
It’s a common theme in life. The seeming inability to say no. No to all the extras. No to the things that others simply don’t have time to do that end up on your plate. No to the multitude of things that consume our days, our minutes, our lives.
I used to refer to myself as “caulking” .
Caulking to you non-handyman people is a substance that is soft and pliable—perfect for filling in all the cracks in a house to make it air tight and watertight, but not a glamorous position.
No one comes to your home and says “Wow, look at that caulking—that is AWESOME!” Caulking keeps us warm and dry, fills in the gaps, so to speak—but it’s not a career that people are standing in line for.
I could focus on your problem for hours, days, just as long as I didn’t have to deal with mine.
And then one night it hit me like a ton of bricks, or should I say like a loaded caulking gun.
There was one person in my life that I always managed to say no to.
No matter what the opportunity looked like, no matter how great it sounded, I could always talk this person out of it.
I was always able to convince them that:
- the timing was off
- they needed to prepare more
- maybe later, life was just too busy at the moment
- they shouldn’t be spending their money on that just now
- they simply didn’t have what it took to make it work
—I could throw out enough stuff to have stumped the best lawyers on any court case going. I had done it to this person for so long, for so many years , that anymore they scarcely even bothered to put up an argument.
The one and the same that was so good at saying yes to everyone around them!
The Grand Caulker herself…me!
I thought I needed to learn how to say no–at least that was what I was hearing bandied about in the conversations of others who felt too available in their lives. It was all about no—nobody was talking about the “Yes” factor.
Just that one tiny word.
Yes to your life.
Yes to your inspirations.
Yes to the ideas, to the dreams, to the goals.
Yes in this moment.
Yes to You.
Saying yes to yourself starts the journey of balancing things out in your life.
Yes has real magic in it.
It’s about saying yes to yourself, yes to your dreams.
The no’s will take care of themselves.
Homework for this week? Once a day, say yes to one of the things that calls to your heart, that makes you excited at the mere thought of it and yeah….maybe even scares you a little bit (or a whole lot!)—whatever it is, just say YES.
THE GRATITUDE WINNER FOR TODAY IS…..
Here’s tomorrow’s Gratitude Giveaway:))
…so to get your name in the hat for this and for the big drawing November 30, leave your comment and report back tomorrow to see A) if you’ve won and B) to leave another awesome gratitude comment!
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I am grateful for all the hummingbirds, finches and sparrows who share my yard and count on me to feed them through the winter months. They chitter and sing as they flit thru my trees and garden.Hummers raise babies every spring in my fruit trees, some recognize me and my family and will enter open rooms to see my family “up close and personal”.
I am grateful to have my daughter home for another year while she starts her teaching career.
Today I am grateful for time spent with one of my 6 grandaughters. We had such fun yesterday making candles, going to lunch and a movie and then an art show. We finished off the evening talking until 1am and she is sleeping now. I love having alone time with them.
Lori Anderson, Folsom CA
I am grateful for family and friends this Thanksgiving season.
I have my beautiful son home from college and feel so peaceful and grateful to simply spend time with him. Diane Howard
Grateful for my Best friends& I have few.
I am thankful for the beautiful, Fall weather.
I love arranging colorful leaves, seed pods. pepper berries, rose hips , pumpkins, pomegranates & persimmons.
Yay!! I won. So today, which is Wednesday, I am grateful for giving selfless souls like Dreamas. Thank you so much Dreama. I am thrilled. I’ve emailed you just a moment ago. 🙂
I am thankful to “show up” today and start a painting.
I’m grateful for so many things but today for the the chance to grab a few hours in the early morning to paint and for the pot of homemade squash soup I have for lunch!
That is a great reminder to all of us women…that to be truly happy we should be kind to ourselves. Thanks for that refreshing perspective! Diane Howard
Wow! Such an amazing and inspiring post! I am very grateful my nine-year-old is such an easy-going, happy traveler.
Once again, your message is a gift.. a reminder of the difference between being selfish and selfless.
Today I’m grateful for another wonderful post from you reminding us to do something for ourselves, which we often times forget to do. I always feel so inspired after reading your blo
Dreama I am grateful for your inspiring post today…it reminds me to say Yes more often and live in the moment!
I’m grateful for this reminder to not forget about ourselves while taking care of others. I am thankful that all 3 of my granddaughters got to visit today.
Another wonderful and inspiring post, Dreama!
Today I am thankful for dark chocolate, which I have a little square of every day. No guilt because in small amounts it is good for our heart and our blood vessels.
I am grateful for the gift of time. Ginny
I am thankful for a beautiful world to explore.
I am grateful for our courageous women and men in the armed forces and veterans who are dedicated to keeping us safe.
God bless our military.
God bless the USA.
I am grateful that a painting done at a plein air contest won a prize and then was sold at Ft Myers Beach “Paint the Beach” event. My first!
I am grateful for the beautiful sunny day today and a walk in the snow this evening with my dog.
I’m always thankful for family.
I am grateful that I took time out of my crazy day to read your caulking gun post. That was the first thing I did for myself all day long. Thank you!
I am thankful that I finished another painting today . Linda
my family… who are usually the instigators of all my metamorphoses (had to look up the spelling of the plural!)
Today I am grateful for the lovely change in weather – finally feels like fall here in Phoenix, AZ!
Woo Hoo! Today I am grateful for the birth of a new grandson! Well, he isn’t actually born yet, but his Mom is laboring diligently and the birth will be….any time now!
Dreama I loved your post yesterday! It really hit home with me as I undergo a metamorphosis. Today I am thankful for several things: a beautifully sunny and warm Nov. day, a lovely walk and chance encounter which made for great conversation, seeing ducks on the pond and for a quiet contemplative moment along with a nap–(so rare in my busy life)! Thanks Dreama for your thought provoking messages!Today’s post is great too. xx
Today is a day to be grateful to be an American. Whichever party you may belong to…!
I’m just grateful for the beautiful rain here in Atlanta today. We are below normal for the year, and this is so nice!
Today is a very special time to thank our brave Veterans for their dedication to keep America safe and free. I am so gratefull for all our Service Men and Women.
I am grateful for family.
I am grateful for my son. Nuff said.
I am also very grateful to our brave soldiers who are always there for us.
I’m so very grateful for all our veterans past & present & their families.
Oh so true, wise words. Grateful that you have pointed this out today. We all know that we are doing it, but to have the courage to say No and then Yes to yourself! Yvonne Ankerman, Sunny South Africa
I’m grateful for the hot tomato soup with crackers I just had for lunch, hit the spot!
I am grateful for my wonderful granddaughter who is spending the day with me.
I am grateful today for my sweet cat Simon who let me sleep the entire night!
I am grateful for my good friends.
I am grateful for your post today. It has really made me stop and think and yes I am going to follow it.
Yep…I mean YES…so many of us, if not pretty much all of us, can relate to this one, Dreama. You hit the nail on the head (with the caulking gun). Too many of us don’t say ‘yes!’ to ourselves enough.
It’s definitely okay and should be encouraged – as you’ve done with today’s gratitude post – to say yes to ourselves, yes to joy, yes to dreams and aspirations. Yes to all the wonder and joy that’s waiting for us…we need only say yes when it comes to our door.
As Molly Bloom from ‘Ulysses’ exclaimed with joy while saying it, ‘Yes. I will. Yes.’ Such a positive, life-affirming word and concept to wrap ourselves around. Thank you for this, Dreama.
Today I am grateful for the encouragement I always receive from my beloved husband, who even when I doubted myself about making an important decision about my crafts, encouraged me and supported me until I could see that ‘yes’ was the only road to travel down. I’m so grateful that he’s there and always has been there, to support, encourage, understand and inspire me.
I’m deeply appreciative of our Veterans and the sacrifices that they continually make for our country. S. Simpson
Wow! You had 100 comments before I got up this morning. That’s impressive! Today when I opened the blinds there was a winter wonderland outside so I’m grateful I didn’t plan a busy driving day. Homework – I say YES to my STUDIO SUPER SALE to raise money for Paris. YES YES YES! No point in my work sitting around when it could be on someone’s wall making them happy. I will convert it magically into admission to The Louvre and Versailles. Sea Dean
Today I am grateful for this fabulous country of ours and the men and women who made it that way.
I am grateful to have a husband that does not mind that I slept in this morning… …and am grateful to be able to read your message with a cup of coffee. J.A. Walker
Interestingly, today’s generation of kids has the exact opposite problem!
Today I am grateful for BALANCE 🙂
Thanks for turning that thought on it’s ear Dreama!
I am grateful this morning for being retired and being able to get up and have coffee and my little almond bar and read the paper by a warm fire. I love it.
Lori Anderson Folsom, CA
Gratitude for the beginning of YES to me!
I am grateful for all the painting ideas that are spinning in my mind today. (better write them down or they will be gone !!)
Today I’m grateful for the “caulking gun” words of wisdom. A very familiar subject and just a great reminder in a delightful word picture that I will use from here on.
Grateful for my husband who got up in the night with restless pups and let me go back to sleep….love…;-)
Cathy J in Portland
grateful for ‘ice blue’ and all of my yummy oil paints
I am grateful for all the artists in my life who make my world more beautiful and more meaningful.
I’m grateful to live in such a beautiful valley in the Rocky Mountains. I’m thrilled everyday with views of majestic Mt Ouray and Chipita out our windows. The lighting and colors are ever changing and very inspiring for a painter.:-) Janet Clemens
I am SO grateful for simple things, like safety in a harsh world, warmth in a cold winter, clean water when some have none, love of friends and family, my pets that listen & obey most of the time!
Yes is the beginning of conversations with yourself and others, No is the end. Gratitude for the “yes” conversation!
I am grateful for the sense of smell. My daughter, the chef, is cooking for someone else today and the smells coming from the kitchen are incredible. I’m always grateful for the sense of smell in the flower shop, in my rose garden, maybe not in the goat barn, but I am grateful more often than not. Have a great smellgood day.
I am grateful to be alive and well on this
Monday morning and to leisurely enjoy my coffee while admiring the soft, white coat that winter is outside covering the valley with!
Thankful for the land of the free and the home of the brave and all those who keep it that way: those who have served and those who are presently serving. vicki morgan
YES, YES, thank you for that inspiration.
Yes, Amen! Thankful for Positive Reinforcement. That’s a great painting btw.
I am grateful to have easy access to transportation. – a car with gas available nearby, airplanes, trains etc.. I was reading a book recently about Michelangelo and the number of weeks it took for him to get from Florence to Rome and today it’s less than a 2 hour train ride. How lucky we are to live in a time where it’s easy to visit places that once seemed so distant.
I am grateful to glide through the water like a fish. To immerse myself, the world is quiet, the sparkles of “dust” bubbles from the sunlight dance in front of me as I swim underwater. It can be a very reflective time of my day as I swim laps. I think and ponder. Sometimes solutions come to me, other times I just let the world go and I count the strokes. Regardless it is for me. When I finish, I am a new person, energy abounds and I am ready for the day.
I am grateful to read that it is good to say “yes” to me. Thank you
Yes! I love this post Dreama. 🙂 I’m grateful for my husband. Who always loves me even on my crabbiest of days.
Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!!! Oh, that felt gooood! Thankful today for my darling dogs who kept me company through a drippy morning… and a couple of English Starlings that had me chuckling at their birdbath antics.
Today I am grateful for all of the protectors of this wonderful country of ours. May God continue to bless the USA.
Today as the rain, wind, and cooler temps come in I am grateful for the changing of the seasons. I am also grateful for your inspiration to all of us.
Thank you and God Bless.
I’m grateful to our military, past and present.
I am grateful I said yes to yesterday’s painting session and will say yes again today and tomorrow and tomorrow…
I’m grateful that a few years ago I ‘took the leap of YES’ to peruse my interest and yearning to start painting! Never one regret, always relishing my art moments and so appreciative for the friends I’ve met, experiences I’ve had and places I’ve been fortunate to visit. What a blessing that art came into my life because I finally said ‘Yes!’ Linda, Nevada
Today and every day I am deeply grateful for our veterans and those currently serving in the armed forces, including our nephew. We can’t thank them enough! Yesterday’s and today’s posts spoke to me so strongly I sat dumbfounded at the keyboard. Wow!!!
I am grateful for the men and women who keep our country free. I am grateful for time and health that allow me to paint. I am grateful to the artists who share their knowlege with me so that I can experience the of painting.
I am grateful to be in the studio this morning getting ready to paint!
Today I am thankful for my home, that lovely shelter from the wind and rain.
There is a way to say YES…very thoughtfully. Good post! Today I am thankful for the ‘computer’ – it allows me to stay in touch with others and MYSELF.
I am grateful that yesterday someone told me about a great atelier school in my area. It is time to say yes to furthering my art education. When I went to college too many moons ago, I was discouraged by the lack of focus on realism and Impressionism in art schools. Everthing was abstract back then. If a student did not do abstract, they where not encouraged. I changed my major and hardly took up the brush again. Now I am saying yes to my inner artist again, by saying yes to this school and by attending wonderful workshops like yours Dreama, where teachers impart their wonderful knowledge to others.
I am so grateful for uplifting books. When my own thoughts are somehow not uplifting I can fill my self with the uplifted thoughts of others just by opening the covers of an inspirational book.
Yes, I agree with a few other who posted their thanks to our armed forces and veterans. They are amazing people and probably don’t get enough acknowledgement and thanks. I am so thankful for all who sacrifice and defend our country.
I am grateful for a warm home on a cold day, in a country I love,all made possible by the sacrifices of our veterans. I will say yes to cookie-baking today and give away (almost) all of them!
Mary Beth Harrison
I’m thankful for my husband, who supports me in my art making.
“I could focus on your problem for hours, days, just as long as I didn’t have to deal with mine.” My goodness, Dreama, you too? It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in others and neglect our responsibility to ourselves…. It’s scary and sometimes lonely to take responsibility like that. Thanks for this post.
This morning I am grateful for the wind. It’s just right today — singing enough to make the trees sway and the leaves dance. I’m in a perfect November morning.
Grateful for the freedom to say yes!
I am grateful for our veterans.
So wonderful to read your thoughts this
morning — and aim to say ‘yes’ more often
and esp. to those things I keep saying ‘no’
to and put off…(esp. the biggies…)
first two smaller yeses: Caribbean Blue and the
Alla Prima book…aw heck…I need to make
a list of turning my nos into yeses, my can’t do that into YES!
Thank you, Dreama!
I am so thankful for the men and women of our armed forces who have gone before to protect this country and our freedoms. What a blessing!
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I am grateful (again) for your thoughtful writing. It almost seems that you are peeking inside my head telling me what I need to hear. Your message on Metamorphosis is especially healing for me cause that’s what I’m doing RIGHT NOW; taking time to figure out how to transition from a real estate agent who paints into just a painter. Thanks!
I think I am almost in the liquid stage; melting down like crazy.
good night’s sleep
I am ever so grateful for all the men and women who have worked and fought to protect our freedoms! God bless them and GOD BLESS AMERICA!
I am grateful today for my art friends who keep me saying, ‘yes’, with all their encouraging words.
Grateful for the wonderful warm and sunshiny weekend! And this is a wonderful post. Yes. (just practicing!)
Today I am grateful for good friends and warm hugs.
So grateful today for other artists like Dreama who are willing to share so much that helps me keep going and learning. If anyone wants a real shot in the arm of encouragement
and great information check out Michael Klein’s American Painting Video
Magazine. Dianne Harrison
Love the post for today!! Still laughing at the image it brings to mind. Yes, guilty also but have gotten much better and am grateful for the reminder from your post!! Also grateful for the energy I feel each morning after reading your thoughts to get moving and just do it!
Hi my friend!! Today I’m in tears…for God has heard my devastating cry before His Throne…for a financial breakthrough…and a few minutes ago,He has send me my Boaz, to meet my family’s needs…. it’s only Father God that could orchestrate it… and I’m so thankful for my Boaz …for he has listened and obeyed God … so that our family could receive our Blessing…so May God Bless him for his sowing…to recieve a great harvest in abundance…. Thank you Dreama… God Bless you aswell with awesome ideas for beautiful paintings…have an awesome day… <3
You are so right, Dreama! I am grateful that my father-in-law, a new widower, has decided to say “Yes” to any invitation that comes his way. It would make my mother-in-law incredibly happy to know that he is honoring her by living life fully.
Dreama, I look forward to reading your newsletter so much! You are a gifted writer (and painter, too) Thank you for all the inspiration! It is no wonder your art classes fill up so fast! Sherry Crouse
#12…the heady scent of a new linen canvas.
faye christian phillips
After reading your post today, I am going to say yes to something that I have been putting off. I have been afraid that I couldn’t do it but I have decided to say YES! I am grateful for your inspiration! Thank you.
Today I am grateful that my problems seem small compared to others.
Interesting them heard it in church yesterday and again today, guess I better practice it now! Thanks!
I am grateful today for saying yes to my wonderful husband,who I will celebrate our 38th anniversary on Nov. 16 with.
I’m grateful for a Mom who loved me, but most of all she love my Dad. Cindy K
For my grand babies, I am thankful.
Today I,mgratful for colour and the beautiful art supplies I have to play with
Dreama, can we talk? I’m grateful for this post! Saying yes is indeed my problem. Thank you.
Grateful for friends who really listen – they don’t talk, they just listen, and then hug.
Today I am grateful for my family! Thanksgiving is around the corner and family always comes together in thanksgiving for all of our blessings!
Wonderful, thought provoking post (as always). Today I’m grateful for the men and women who serve our country to protect our freedoms.
Wow! You hit my nail on the head today! Not only are you an extraordinary artist but you sure have a way with words too! You have reminded me today to say “yes” much more often. Thank you!
I’m grateful I can make a comment here. That I can still pay the internet bill and more.
I bought Carribean Blue yesterday. Cannot wait to see what happens. Gayle Nunn
I’m saying yes to my time….for my art! Thank you ! I am grateful for all the abundance in my life.
Grateful for your reminder that a YES to yourself- is O.K.!!!
This is a season to take care of “me” and that” no” to others don’t mean your are not a caring person, it means you care enough to nuture your spirit within!
I love all the beautiful color you use in your paintings. The painting you put on your blog this morning is very airy, sunny and colorful and so cheerful. That brings me to what I’m thankful for this morning. I’m thankful for color and seeing new ways to use it and permission to use it anyway I choose.
First, let me say you have such a wonderful way to drive home something very deep and introspective in a casual, user-friendly way. (Your Metamorphosis post was aMAzing; really hit home for me.) Thank you for all you do!
Today I am grateful for your post to remind me to take a leap. I’ve been holding off starting a large commission for fear it won’t be right. You’ve reminded me… no more caulking… YES! 🙂
Today I am most grateful for all the men and women who have served in the military, especially those who sacrificed their lives so that the rest of us could enjoy freedom.
Grateful today for our veterans, those who have given time and those still serving. Double whammy today, for I’m also grateful for a certain artist who uses her great sense of humor to help us see the “light.” Caulking? Love it.
I am grateful to all the veterans and current men and women serving our country.
Well Dreama, if YOU are ‘the Grand Caulker’ then I deem myself as ‘the Grand Caulker In Waiting’!!! I’m afraid I haven’t gotten to that point just yet, but the good news is that I finally DO get it and am seriously working on focusing on me and my needs. Problem: I don’t know how to define them, so I’m sure some slip through the cracks, but at least I’m consciously looking to keep that from happening.
Today’s ‘NO’ post couldn’t be more appropriate and on the money for me! I’m printing it out and hanging it right over my desk!! I may even make a small copy to carry with me!!!
I LOOK SO FORWARD TO THIS WONDERFUL DAILY REMINDER! It truly is what I’m grateful for today!!
what a post today! I’have read all the books of Wayne Dyer Thanks Dreama
I am grateful for our Veterans and all those currently serving so that we may enjoy our freedom. Let’s never take it for granted.
I am grateful fo the moments of bliss, the chances to leap, and the 2nd Hafiz poem I have seen in a week!
“Say ‘Yes’ more” was my 2012 resolution. Not yes to everything (as in the book/movie Yes Man), but just Yes more. It’s not too late to revive those heart-felt resolutions whispered to the universe in January.
Well I’m back at my desk at work, but my head is still swimming with memories of my fabulous weekend; delicious food, wonderful company, relaxing and doing fun things! I’m honestly in a very happy mood – and am certainly grateful for that! 🙂 🙂
Fabulous post today- I see myself all over this! I am so thankful for all of the artistic opportunities that have come my way!
This morning I am thankful for the hard work and support of our military, and grateful that my brother made it through.
Also I have to say I am thankful for the little rooster who just got his crow on. This morning was his first time crowing….. 🙂
I am thankful for this day to create art.
Today I am grateful for the reminder of the power of “yes”. Although I say yes frequently to myself, I really need to say YES to cleaning this studio, which has been languishing in clutter for far too long!
I am greatful that I live so close to my daughter’s family that I can see them and my grandbaby Wesley any time I want!
I,too, am grateful for the reminder to say YES to life. The busy time is starting for many of us with the holidays just around the corner. I find if I say yes to that early morning walk or time to sit and have a cup of hot tea in the afternoon, it doesn’t get so hectic and I enjoy the holidays a lot more. Great time to remind us to take a breath, slow down, and say yes to those things we are wanting to do to nourish ourselves.
I am thankful for those who serve and have served in the military for of great country. I am thankful to their families too, as their sacrifice is just as important.
I am grateful that after many years, I am beginning to be able to say yes to myself. Thank you for your post this morning – great way to describe it!
Wonderful post this morning and really made me smile. Love the image of the caulking gun and it’s one that many of us need to learn to remember and implement. I am grateful I can now do so with a smile! Always grateful to work on myself and do better:) No but Yes! Got it!!
I am grateful for my daughter who readily accepts new challenges.
I am grateful of the reminder of my outstanding and probably irritating caulking ability with others. Your lovely letter gave me a chance to examine myself and be aware of what I am doing when I visit my daughter and perhaps others. I love my new term, “Caulking.” And I am going to examine myself when I bring out that huge caulking gun. Merry Lund
Yes, it’s true that words can ‘enclose’ my thinking; negative thoughts produce quietly toxic phrases, for example, ‘I can’t do that…’, ‘I haven’t time to do that…’. I am inspired to think, and say, positive, more ‘open’ things now. Just as others rely on my positive reassuring words, so do I, both from others as well as from myself. JK
I am immensely grateful today for all the veterans who sacrificed so much for us to be able to live in this free country, and who continue to do so every day. Thank you to all of them!
I, too, am grateful for the reminder, Dreama – and thankful for the lovely shape of the ficus plant on my windowsill that I look at about 1000 times a day. Soft green leaves, etched with creamy white. Just lovely!
“Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”-Eckhart Tolle. Why is is so hard to follow good advice and quit shooting yourself in the foot? Really, you’d think that would be easy to do!
I am grateful for your reminder! I have not been seeing to my needs, and now just recently I have begun saying YES, and starting to take care of myself and making my dreams come true. I am so grateful for opportunities that are appearing and for the synchronicities in my life. Living in now is awesome!
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