After the Creative Process
Often we do what we do in hopes of being accepted into the circle, approved of and validated.
You know what our work craves though???
Acceptance from us.
Our job is not to convince others that our work is worthy.
Our job is to accept, whole-heartedly, our own work.
To love it from its infancy to its adulthood and all steps between—that’s our job.
To clap for it, cheer it on and delight in it (you know—that reaction we are hoping to get from everyone else but for some reason we aren’t giving to ourselves.)
Acceptance isn’t nearly as important for others to give our work as it is for us to give to our work.
It’s a beautiful word and one that can cause us to breathe a big sigh of relief.
It’s so curious that the very thing we so often want from others is the very thing we will not give to ourselves.
What is it that we fear will happen if we accept our work as beautiful, meaningful and wondrous—just as it is now, in this moment?
To let go of withholding gratitude and joy for our work because it doesn’t, according to us, “pass muster”—what would that taste like?
Not approving your own work is like disapproving of the six year old who has lost their front teeth—“I’ll accept you when you get your new teeth and when you’ve grown into them.” There is beauty and JOY in every step of the journey. How many smiles of laughter and love does a jack-o-lantern smile of the six year old produce? Are they less worthy of acceptance?
Every single one of us AND our day to day work and creative gifts, are “works in progress”, more than worthy of acceptance in every step we take.
As Byron Katie so aptly puts it, “It’s not your job to like me [or my work], it’s mine.”
I expanded on this subject a little further via audio. (Note: I do some of my best thinking in the car so please excuse the road noise 😉
To listen, either click the arrow above or the red arrow below 🙂
P.S. Fun times are straight ahead. I leave for France on Monday/June 15— which means lots of paintings, pictures, videos and giveaways for you!
Time to get your oui oui on!!! Make sure you are subscribed to travel along with me 🙂 Just click here!
I never thought of my work this way,and I am so enlightened after reading this post..thank you.
But , I would like to add how VERY much I enjoy and applaud your work. It is luscious. Wish I could make that enthralling,sensual blue
following you with joy, you`re such an inspiration!
I never thought about this before but you’re right on! I am hereby reformed.
Brillian audio file, Artist Dreama Tolle Perry/ Have fun in France!
Brillian audio file, Artist Dreama Tolle Perry/ Have fun in France!
Yes Dreama… Another thing I wish we’d learned in kindergarten. I’ve wasted so much time trying to get acceptance & approval from those who will never….ever….be able to give it because they don’t give it to themselves.
What a different world it would be if we could love and accept ourselves unconditionally. Coming from that place of “full-ness” then we could offer ourselves more (wholly) (holy) to the world. Amen Sista ! Would love to be in France with you.
Thanks for another excellent post. K
Dreama, I am one of your biggest fans! I follow your blog diligently and love your work, your outlook on life, your writing and you! Is there a trick to hearing the audio you posted today? when I click I am redirected to a screen but when I click on the play button nothing happens.
Thanks ever so much Blake 🙂 Here’s a link directly to sound cloud that might work for you—different devices and browsers can sometimes be tricky.
Wise words. I was sharing similar thoughts with a new class I’m leading yesterday. Many artists are so hard on themselves, rather than enjoying the moment. After studying with you last summer, I truly felt free of a lot of baggage I had been carrying around myself. And what a difference that ‘lightness of being’ has on ones artistic outlook!
Yes, we are our own most demanding critic.
Thank you for sharing this today. It was just what I needed to hear. I have printed it out and passed it along to two friends who are not on Facebook, as well as posted it in my own studio. Thank you for your encouragement.
Great words to start my day….thanks!
“My art is beautiful today. My art is living. I love my art.” Thank you for the wonderful inspiration message. Being in France is going to an unbelievable, over-the-moon experience.
Dreama, I so admire your art and writing gifts. This morning your art smacked me up side my head! It is so true. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve shared it on my brothers face book page, to encourage and comfort his adult kids. My brother is in the hospital with an aortic aneurism. This beautiful piece of your work is just so spot on and ALSO quite comforting, thank you!!
Dreama, thank you for this post. Question, any comments on using the oil sticks? (not pastels)..Enjoy France and I will look forward to your journey at home!
Another spot on post, Dreama.
Oh, the landscape, the food, the wine, the song! The art! Have a wonderful time in that lovely rose-filled garden. It will be fun to see the next crop of purple beret artists! I’ll be with you in spirit.
I enjoyed your two audio recordings over my morning coffee. A very nice way to start my day. At a recent art show I heard two artists talking about how hard it is to let go of a painting and sell it. I told them of you and your commentary written in your newsletter. It’s nice hearing it in the spoken word.
An artist friend told me many years ago to every once in a while line up my paintings against the wall. Then put them in the order I created them. Sit back and take a good look and see how I have grown. It helps me to enjoy the journey and in letting go.
One more story. One time I was painting a garbage can. I so so caught up in the this and that that there was no now. My friend said can I show you a technique that will help your painting. I reluctantly handed over my brush. To my shock my friend didn’t just touch a bit of my painting he went to town. Splashing and laughing. I was so mad at him and responded “what did you do it doesn’t look like my garbage can!” He laughed and said “maybe not but if feels like that garbage can, you weren’t feeling it.” He was right I was so caught up in perspective, lighting, and the blah blah blah I missed it. You know what I mean I’m sure and my writing skills are not that good. Anyhow I was missing the joy of expression in that moment. It was only paint on the canvas. One canvas in a line of paintings in my progression of expressions. My painting story. I never forgot that moment from many, many, years ago. Those stories help me to lighten up, be in the moment, let go and enjoy my growth process. Just thought I’d share too.
Have a great day.
Larry–these are great stories—I’m so glad you took a moment to write them out and share them 🙂 !
Love today’s painting…. avoir un temps merveilleux en France!
YES!YES!YES! Thank you.
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