7 Dec

Paris Doorway - dreamatolleperry.com

Before the Creative Process

Doorways to Creativity

I went in search of creativity and found it not

I pressed hard, certain I could conjure it up

Conjure I could not

It seemed to elude me
The more I was certain I needed it to show up now, the fainter the trail grew

And I grew faint
And weary
And a bit of me gave up

My hand grew lax and the desperation slipped away

In that place, the one where I had given up
lo and behold
Creativity began to appear

In small things
and great things

creativity, inspiration became visible
pulling up a chair beside me and chatting
I could scarcely believe my luck

What was different?
Could this be sorted?
So that I might be able to experience this inspiration, this creativity in my life again any ole time I pleased?

Ever so carefully I traced my steps back
back to the preoccupation
The sense that there was no magic and I must indeed do everything the hard way

That if I worked hard enough I could make creativity show up at will
(like trying to go to sleep, this boat don’t float. The harder one tries to fall asleep, the more awake one becomes. The harder I worked at chasing my creativity the more uninspired I became)

It’s not that one should sit and wait for creativity to appear
There is a ‘participation’ on our part that must happen
but it does not dwell in the working harder places

when I began rehearsing to myself what I was doing
when I started feeling/seeing creativity and inspiration playing with me again I was…

walking and noticing the things around me
I was sitting quietly letting my mind take its rest
I was meditating

I had given up the pursuit and put my mind and endeavors toward quietness and being present

There have been times when I didn’t do the stuff above. I felt like I didn’t have enough time. Instead, I banged my head against the creativity door, certain I could open it if I stayed with it. Yeah, I know—when did that EVER work?? Like never

Creativity never asked that I hunt it down
Never asked that I angst over if it had left me, perhaps this time for good
Never asked me to conclude that I just wasn’t worthy
Creativity was silent through all of those antics

After retracing my steps what I’ve come to realize about creativity is this
It was and is always ready to come to me

It knows better than to show up when I’m stalking it for I will likely strangle the life out of it
–just as I am doing to my self
(It keeps a wide berth of one who can’t be silent long enough to hear her own heart)

The minute I finally let go and quietly begin being present in my life she comes to me

Always generous
ever kind
creativity starts me on a drip feed of life-preserving inspiration

and I am ever so thankful!

When you retrace your steps, where do you find creativity showing up?


P.S. A couple of things…. I’m preparing a watercolor journaling course made to open doors to your creativity. Postcards from Paris is a paintable feast and has a place set just for you! Add yourself to the VIP interest list–click here!

AND if you’ve been waiting for the right moment to take an oil painting course from me, Dream.Love.Paint, my signature course, is available right now at a very special price—click here for details!

Paris Doorway -- dreamatolleperry.com

‘Paris Doorway’ — Watercolor Scene in ‘Postcards from Paris’ Course

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  1. Kathy Kappeler

    You have expressed so well so many feelings and thoughts I have had over the last 10 years. Unexpected things creep into life, and being creative seems to be at the bottom of the list. I have painted for many years but had lost my but my passion for art had kind of seeped out of me, like squeezing a tube of paint. Finding your online courses has restored my desire to see and create beauty regardless of how difficult some days seem to be. Thank you for sharing. Blessings

    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      I am so glad Kathy. The longer I live the more apparent it becomes how we all need each other. I refer often to a quote from Ram Dass that says, “We are all just walking each other home.” Glad we are on the journey together!

  2. DEBBI

    I am sure I am not the first but it has to be said again. Your writings are as lovely as your paintings. Yes, first meditation and then I ask what is my intent. And then I paint. Yay!

    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      You have a winning combination Debbi–love that! And thank you so much for such kind words 🙂

  3. Jenny Dubasso

    I’ve only painted in oil… that was my medium … but I’m a messy painter and my 4 year old grandson is living with me , so I decided acrylic would be a better choice .Ihave never tried it and understand you can make it look like oil nowadays … Do you have any courses in acrylic paint ? … I went out and bought all I needed … but I’m just moving it around starring at .it . In need of Lady Creativity ! I like bright thick colors . Love , love , love your work ❣️I do mostly large portraits . Realistic Impressionism … But stopped years ago … something bad happened … it affected my need to paint…Killed my happiness and my creativity 🦜❤️🦜🦜. Thought doing a course would help me get back into it . Have no clue what to do with my acrylic !lol ! … Sincerely , Jenny .

  4. debi

    Once again, Dreama, you meet me in my need. I have have been “shut down” since completing a number of portrait commissions last spring. The harder I try to get the passion back, the more it eludes me – just as you said! Desperate for Postcards from Paris!!!! Looking forward to trying something totally different and always for your inspiration, 💜

    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      And we love your portrait work!!–commission work provides such an important component of the role art plays in the world but it does take a toll. I think Sergeant was the one who said you are painting for two people–yourself and the one who commissioned it. I think Postcards from Paris will be good for the creative kid in you that needs some fun/no strings attached stuff to do. So glad that today’s words connected with you. And do remember–when you’ve poured a lot into your work–you need time to withdraw and rest–which is where you are now and that is as it should be 🙂

      • Debi

        Thank you so much, Dreama! I’m feeling hope! 💜💜💜

  5. Katie

    Thank you Dreama! You’re the best! I am hoping to do your watercolor class, but things may not work out for me this time. Looking forward to keeping you on my lists.

    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      Things come as needed in our lives Katie–Paris will be there whenever it’s right for you–I so enjoy having you in our courses!!

  6. Anne E. Christeson

    How do you ALWAYS know exactly what to say, when to say it? Boy did I need to hear this today! My husband even said this morning, “I’d love it if you did some painting today.” All I could think of was, “Will I have time? Will I be interrupted to take his wheelchair to the bedroom or bathroom or whatever? (just 5 weeks post-surgery — of course he need me to be ready to help!) Why start a painting if I know (how do I know that?) I won’t finish it?” Your words say, “Just relax. Open your heart. Let the inspiration, the joy, the painting — just come to you, rather than you chasing it all around the house.” Even if I don’t paint today, I know I will feel in my spirit some of the joy I feel when I do paint. Thank you, thank you, thank you, ma très chère Dreama! (Am I getting ready for the Paris course… ya think?!)
    Much love to you, Ron, and all your family!

    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      I love this Anne! Much love to you and your precious husband–and yes on Paris!!

  7. Jennifer Gifford-Jones

    Just beautiful, Dreama…. reading your Saturday emails is such a joyful experience! I simply loved the Provence course, one of the best things ever, and am so looking forward to the watercolour Postcards from Paris. You have a wonderful gift for communicating immense joy … thank you! love and best wishes ….Jennifer.

    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      What beautiful sentiments to wake up to this morning Jennifer! Warming my heart–love and hugs to you!

  8. Brenda corbett


    • Dreama Tolle Perry

      I’m smiling as I read your words Brenda–we are all here to help each other. Glad these words feel helpful to you today!

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